There are no perfect relationships because there are no perfect people. No matter how well you get along with people, you are bound to have disagreements and this is normal. It is also ok to argue, but there are rules for arguing:
1. If you are too angry to discuss the issue calmly, take a time out, e.g., go for a walk, go to a different room - get away from the person with whom you are arguing. During your time out, don't think about the topic about which you were arguing. Think about something entirely different. It is polite to ask for the time out rather than to just walk away. If the person with whom you are arguing is your spouse, time outs can be prearranged. In other words, you and your spouse can decide, in advance, how long time-outs will be. After your time-out begin the discussion, again;
2. During an argument, the past should never be brought up;
3. Stay on the topic so that you get the issue resolved;
4. Name calling and talking down to the other person should never occur. The purpose of arguing is to resolve the issue, not make it worse, and these things will definitely make it worse. This will also help to destroy your relationship; and
5. Never go to bed angry. Try to resolve disagreements, as best you can, before going to bed. Otherwise, your sleep may not be restful. Or you may not sleep at all.
These are just a few suggestions for resolving relationship issues. Above is a list of books that you may find helpful. Also, feel free to contact our office at (954) 443-2182.
